Remembering Redd Foxx On Thanksgiving
“If the pilgrims had shot at bobcat, instead of turkey, we’d all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving.”
Bon appetite, everyone.
Kittatinny’s Barbara Burton Stewart Is A New Granny
Barbara and her son:
Here is a picture of the proud papa and Victoria Ann Stewart.
Paul Harvey… Good Day
My friend Peter Abramov sent me these words, written by noted radio commentator Paul Harvey.
Most, you’ll find to be profound, me thinketh.
“We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I’d like better.
I’d really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it’s all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he’s scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you’ll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don’t ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won’t be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot [edit to add by “Ralphie Boy”– My late mother Vivian Tyko, were she here today, would remind that an eye could be lost], I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boygirl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don’t care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don’t like it.. And if a friend offers you white powder [Paul used the expression “dope and joints.” I, Ralph Zig Tyko, changed it to “white powder,” not so much to note his ignorance but to respect your intelligence], I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor’s window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you – tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it’s the only way to appreciate life.”
Hey Paul, dare to tell the truth about hemp, if not “weed” [heaven forbid]… Good day.
“Laughter Is The Best Medicine…
…” was the title of a very funny book written in the ’50s by the late, not but never tardy, Sam Levenson. The mostly forgotten author espoused that, “a “laugh a day” may, indeed, extend one’s life. At the very least, laughing improves the quality of life.
This from fellow Kittatinny Camp alum, Barbara Burton Stewart . She forwarded me an email from her uncle:
Remember Sam Levenson?
Not enough people do. He was such a clever man but time has diminished the memory of his wit. I thought I’d resurrect him, as his words today are as pithy as they were when he wrote them.
“Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.”
“The first screw to get loose in your head is the one that holds your tongue in place.”
“A goat also has a beard, but that doesn’t make him a rabbi.”
“You’re only young once. After that it takes some other excuse for behaving like an idiot.”
“Even if the majority agrees on an idiotic idea, it is still an idiotic idea.”
“The greatness of this or any country may still be measured by the number of people trying to get IN vs. the number trying to get OUT.”
“The best defense of our country is to keep it at all times WORTH defending.”
“War doesn’t prove who is right; only who is left.”
“War is better at abolishing nations than nations are at abolishing wars.”
“You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.”
“The U.N. has been as effective against war as foghorns have been against Fog.”
“Behind every successful Jew stands a bigot who could not stop him.”
[Editor’s note: Speaking of bigots, there have been more than a few in my life. The most blatantly anti-semitic one is the poster boy for white trash, my one time fellow New York Life Insurance agent in Santa Rosa California, Tom Holmes. Tom doesn’t limit his racism to Jews. In addition to “kike,” “porch monkey” and “sand nigger” are words that flow freely from his pie hole.
So, here’s to ya’ Tommy Boy…
… You’re special. BTW, condolences on the death of your pet… the one you gleefully named “Adolph, The Killer Cat.” That says it all, Bubbeleh. It’s because of schmucks like you, that the word lives on.]
Here’s an image of Windsor, California’s Louis Thomas [Tom] Holmes:
All that said, I’m far less repulsed by Tom’s overt prejudice, than I am with the enablers in his life. Those folks who, mostly for monetary gain, allow the stench of his mindset to permeate their lives.]
“There are more important things in life than money. The trouble is they all cost money.”
Re: sex education in schools: “Let them teach it! If the schools teach sex the way they teach everything else, the kids will lose interest anyway.”
———————————————————————————————
Here’s something that made me laugh today:
RIP Herb Score
Herb Score was “Koufax before Koufax.” In the mid fifties while Sandy was throwing bullpen pitches to Norm Sherry, perfecting a style that would later dominate the National League for years to come, Score was the “King Of The Hill” for the Cleveland Indians in the American League. The screaming liner hit by Gil McDougald [greatest utility infielder who ever lived] in 1957 cut short both their careers.
Herb called Game 7 of the 1997 World Series, a game that brought the Indians and their faithful yet another disappointment.
The loss to the Florida Marlins disappointed Score as well. He went into self-imposed retirement and settled into a life absent the adulation he’d known as the homespun voice of the Indians. His silence left a generation of Tribe fans pleading for “Herbie” to return.
He never did. He never will.
Score died Tuesday morning at his home in Rocky River, Ohio, after a lengthy illness. He was 75, way too young.
Here’s a picture of him in his prime:
A’s Get Matt Holliday [No, Not Garrett Atkins]…
… from Colorado. Aside that they [too] quickly gave up on Carlos Gonzalez, who cost them only Dan Haren. they needed [need] a third baseman, not a one year rent-a-player.
That said, they did get a terrific hitter and a superb California Sea Otter in my Yahoo Fantasy League a few years ago, whom if they turn around and package at the deadline…
Sound familiar, A’s fan?
Baseball’s 2008/9 Free Agents
Brad Ausmus (40)
Paul Bako (37)
Rod Barajas (33) – $2.5MM club option picked up for ’09
Josh Bard (31)
Michael Barrett (32)
Gary Bennet (37)
Henry Blanco (37)
Johnny Estrada (33)
Toby Hall (33)
Jason LaRue (35) – STL $950K (09)
Paul Lo Duca (37) – Type B
Miguel Olivo (30) – $2.7MM mutual option picked up for ’09
Ivan Rodriguez (37) – Type A
David Ross (32)
Javier Valentin (33)
Jason Varitek (37) – Type A
Gregg Zaun (38) – Type B
First basemen
Rich Aurilia (37)
Sean Casey (34)
Tony Clark (37)
Carlos Delgado (37) – $12MM club option picked up for ’09
Nomar Garciaparra (35)
Jason Giambi (38)
Eric Hinske (31)
Doug Mientkiewicz (35)
Kevin Millar (37)
Richie Sexson (34)
Mark Teixeira (29) – Type A
Daryle Ward (34)
Second basemen
Willie Bloomquist (31)
Craig Counsell (38)
Ray Durham (37)
Damion Easley (39)
David Eckstein (34)
Mark Grudzielanek (39) – Type B
Orlando Hudson (31) – Type A
Tadahito Iguchi (34)
Jeff Kent (41) – Type B
Felipe Lopez (29)
Mark Loretta (37) – Type B
Nick Punto (31)
Shortstops
Willie Bloomquist (31)
Orlando Cabrera (34) – Type A
Alex Cintron (30)
Alex Cora (33)
Adam Everett (32)
Rafael Furcal (31)
Cesar Izturis (29)
Felipe Lopez (29)
Edgar Renteria (33) – Type A
Juan Uribe (30) – Type B
Ramon Vazquez (32)
Omar Vizquel (42)
Third basemen
Rich Aurilia (37)
Casey Blake (35) – Type B
Hank Blalock (28) – $6.2MM club option for ’09 with a $0.25MM buyout
Willie Bloomquist (31)
Aaron Boone (36)
Russell Branyan (33)
Craig Counsell (38)
Joe Crede (31)
Left fielders
Moises Alou (42) – Type B
Garret Anderson (37) – Type B
Milton Bradley (31) – Type A
Emil Brown (34)
Pat Burrell (32) – Type A
Adam Dunn (29) – Type A
Luis Gonzalez (41) – Type B
Raul Ibanez (37) – Type A
Kevin Mench (31)
Craig Monroe (32)
Greg Norton (36)
Jay Payton (36)
Wily Mo Pena (27) $2MM club option picked up for ’09
Manny Ramirez (37) – Type A
Juan Rivera (30)
Fernanto Tatis (34) – NYM $1.7MM (’09)
Center fielders
Rocco Baldelli (27)
Willie Bloomquist (31)
Mike Cameron (36) – $10MM club option picked up for ’09
Jim Edmonds (39)
Jerry Hairston Jr. (33)
Gabe Kapler (33)
Mark Kotsay (33)
Corey Patterson (29)
Scott Podsednik (33)
Right fielders
Bobby Abreu (35) – Type A
Casey Blake (35) – Type B
Cliff Floyd (36)
Brian Giles (38) – $9MM club option for ’09 with a $3MM buyout – Type A
Ken Griffey Jr. (39) – Type B
Vladimir Guerrero (33) – $15MM club option picked up for ’09
Jason Michaels (33)
Brad Wilkerson (32)
DHs
Mike Sweeney (35)
Frank Thomas (41) – Type B
Jose Vidro (34)
Starting pitchers
Kris Benson (33)
A.J. Burnett (32) – Type A
Paul Byrd (38) – Type B
Roger Clemens (46)
Matt Clement (33)
Bartolo Colon (36)
Ryan Dempster (32) – Type A
Shawn Estes (36)
Josh Fogg (32)
Freddy Garcia (33)
Jon Garland (29) – Type B
Tom Glavine (43)
Mike Hampton (36)
Mark Hendrickson (35)
Livan Hernandez (34)
Orlando Hernandez (43)
Jason Jennings (30)
Randy Johnson (45)
Kenshin Kawakami (34)
John Lackey (32) – $9MM club option picked up for ’09
Jon Lieber (39)
Braden Looper (34) – Type B
Rodrigo Lopez (33) – club option for ’09
Derek Lowe (36) – Type A
Greg Maddux (43) – Type B
Pedro Martinez (37)
Sergio Mitre (28) – NYY (’09, opt ’10)
Jamie Moyer (46) – Type A
Mark Mulder (31)
Mike Mussina (40) – Type A
Carl Pavano (33)
Brad Penny (31) – Type B
Odalis Perez (32)
Oliver Perez (27) – Type A
Andy Pettitte (37) – Type A
Sidney Ponson (32)
Mark Prior (27)
Kenny Rogers (44)
Glendon Rusch (34)
C.C. Sabathia (28) – Type A
Curt Schilling (42)
Ben Sheets (30) – Type A
John Smoltz (42) – Type B
Koji Uehara (34)
Tim Wakefield (42) – perpetual $4MM club option picked up
Kip Wells (32)
Randy Wolf (32) – Type B
Closers
Chad Cordero (27)
Brian Fuentes (33) – Type A
Eric Gagne (33) – Type B
Eddie Guardado (38)
Trevor Hoffman (41) – Type B
Jason Isringhausen (36) – Type A
Brandon Lyon (29) – Type B
Francisco Rodriguez (27) – Type A
Salomon Torres (37) – $3.75MM club option for ’09 with a $0.3MM buyout – Type B
Kerry Wood (32) – Type A
Middle relievers
Jeremy Affeldt (30) – Type B
Luis Ayala (31)
Joe Beimel (32) – Type B
Joe Borowski (38)
Doug Brocail (42) – Type A
Shawn Chacon (31)
Juan Cruz (30) – Type A
Alan Embree (39) – Type B
Scott Eyre (37)
Kyle Farnsworth (33)
Casey Fossum (31)
Keith Foulke (35)
Tom Gordon (41)
LaTroy Hawkins (36)
Mark Hendrickson (35)
Matt Herges (39)
Bob Howry (35) – Type B
Jon Lieber (39)
Jason Johnson (35)
Damaso Marte (34) – $6MM club option for ’09 with a $0.25MM buyout – Type A
Trever Miller (36) – Type B
Guillermo Mota (35)
Will Ohman (31)
Darren Oliver (38) – Type A
Chan Ho Park (36)
Horacio Ramirez (29)
Al Reyes (38)
Dennys Reyes (32) – Type B
Arthur Rhodes (39)
Juan Rincon (30)
Glendon Rusch (34)
Rudy Seanez (40)
Brian Shouse (40) – Type B
Russ Springer (40) – Type A
Mike Timlin (43)
Ron Villone (39)
David Weathers (39) – Type B
Kip Wells (32)
Matt Wise (33)
Jamey Wright (34) – Type B
—————————————-
|
|
Comfortably Zoned with Ralph Zig Tyko 