Lasik Surgery A PED For Baseball?

April 25, 2009 at 4:39 pm (Baseball, Life & Death, New York Mets, Unzipped Thoughts)

Many have improved their vision, dramatically. Some, not so. Here’s what I read today about a very good young ballplayer.

CINCINNATI– Brian McCann has spent the past couple weeks frustrated by the fact that he’s had constant blurred vision in his left eye. The Braves All-Star catcher will spend the next two weeks hoping to find the proper solution.

The Braves announced on Saturday morning that they’ve placed McCann on the 15-day disabled list with what they’ve termed a left eye infection. With the move made retroactive to Thursday, the 25-year-old catcher will be eligible for activation for the May 8 series opener in Philadelphia.

“I hate going on the DL,” McCann said. “That’s the last thing I was going to do. But I feel like it’s something that’s going to get me back to seeing the baseball and being able to perform at this level.”

McCann is hopeful that he can regain his optimal vision by simply repeating the Lasik surgical procedure that he first underwent after the 2007 season. But he’s conscious of the fact that he might need to do more than simply correct the vision in his left eye.

While dealing with this blurriness since Opening Day, McCann has tried multiple remedies, but eye drops, an antibiotic ointment and multiple contact lenses haven’t proven to be unsuccessful in solving the problem.

McCann is hoping to find more clarity about his situation when he visits Dr. Alan Kozarsky in Atlanta on Monday. Kozarsky performed the initial Lasik procedure on the catcher two years ago.

Why he chooses to go back to the same neck, is what really interests me. Are the magazines in the waiting room current? Does the Doctor see him in a timely manner? Do the medical staff handle all the insurance forms? Does he think 50% is a high success rate in the “eye fixin’ biz?”

My advice to Brian: Get your arse up to New Yawk and make an appointment with a Doc named Myron, Seymour, or Bernie… then it would be back to the room with a bag of good Columbian Boo, a six pack o’ brew, and some great pizza. Then you can practice playing “peek-a-boo” with the good eye while ravaging the mini bar, and trying to decode the porn channel. Remember that a $500 hooker with a Green Card automatically turns into a $50 hooker without a Green Card. Don’t fall in love.

Aside that your extended stay on the disabled list increases the chances of the Mets winning the division [I just hope that they don’t find a way to blow it ,in spite of your misfortune], I wish you a speedy recovery… I guess. :-)


  1. Pete said,

    Colombian Boo indeed Zig…………………he wouldn’t even need the surgery!

  2. A. Royde said,

    Brian McCann already takes regular steroids, just like the rest of the team and the Skankees.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: