Ya think?
The entire Declaration of Independence, including all 56 signatures, is contained on a single hand-written sheet of paper.
The full and complete original Constitution of the United States of America is printed on six pages. The first four pages contain the basic text of the founding document. Page five is the letter of transmittal to the British government. And the sixth and final page contains all ten of the initial amendments, known as the Bill of Rights.
Karl Marx laid out The Communist Manifesto in a mere 23 pages.
The English translation of Dostoevski’s Crime and Punishment is 718 pages, while Tolstoy’s War and Peace weighs in at 1,225 pages.
And try as she might, even Ayn Rand could manage only 1,069 pages in her magnum opus, Atlas Shrugged.
My personal, large-print New King James copy of the Bible contains 1,426 pages of text, a 64-page concordance and six pages of maps.
What do these momentous documents have in common with each other? They all contain fewer pages than the bloated Senate health care bill, S. 1796, which totals a ridiculous 1,502 pages.
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Who is Jeff Nelson? Thanks for asking.
He’s a baseball umpire with a “small strikezone,” working behind the plate [chosen to work behind the plate] in game 2 of the 2009 World Series.
Of course the strikezone should be the same for every umpire, and when an individual umpire’s calls are consistently inconsistent, he should be repromanded. Maybe fined demoted, suspended, or fired… NOT GIVEN A PLUM ASSIGNMENT, BUD SELIG.
“Christ, the Commish is a moron,” you may thinking.
Wrong!!… at least in this instance.
MLB is deliberately not standardizing umpiring. Why? Because who’s umping behind the plate becomes a factor in prognosticating the odds and probabilities of any given game.
Baseball is by doing everything possible to draw interest in itself through gambling [both legal, trough Fantasy/Roto, and illegal]. They know that betting is right up there with apple pie, in the hearts of we ‘mericans. Want proof? Check out the the NFL.
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… by the pride of Nelson, British Colombia, David Hersh:
Here’s some I took of David:
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Not only was Larry Jansen the winning pitcher in the famous ” Shot Hoid ‘Round Da Woild” game in 1951 [brought to you by Scottsman’s Productions, in association with Russ Hodges], but he was Alvin Dark’s pitching coach on the 1962 Giants. The team had, five years earlier, carpetbagged out west and no longer represented New York by then… but I digress.
I was saddened to read of his passing, at the age of 89, today.
By all accounts, Mr. Jansen was a terrific teammate and a fine man.
My deepest condolences to his friends and family.
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… had a way with words, like no other. Whitness these thought provoking quotes:
“If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.”
“Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course.”
“When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.”
“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.”
“The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.”
“The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.”
“Lack of money is the root of all evil.”
“A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.”
“Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.”
“There are two tragedies in life. One is to not get your heart’s desire. The other is to get it.”
“The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.”
“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.”
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1B
Hank Blalock (Age: 29)
Adam LaRoche (30)
2B
Orlando Hudson (32)
Felipe Lopez (30)
LF
Jason Bay (31)
Matt Holliday (30)
CF (Back-up OF)
Endy Chavez (32)
SP
Justin Duchscherer (32)
Rich Harden (28)
John Lackey (31)
Jason Marquis (31)
Ben Sheets (31)
For my money they should start with Endy, whom they should never allowed to leave, in the first place…
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First and foremost I’m thrilled to announce the appointment of Janis Moyer as CFO of People Care 4 Day Care, Inc. She joins me [Ralph Zig Tyko], Andrew Dosa, Barbara Read, and Yolonda Schamoni on our Board of Directors.
Raised in the San Joaquin Valley, Janis graduated with a BA in Business and a Honors in English from California State University, Chico. After training at Touche Ross, she became Chief Accountant at Soyster & Orenschall and moved on to become CFO of Tannery West in San Francisco. In 1978, she and her husband opened San Francisco Tom’s, a wholesale snack and vending company. When her husband retired from the business in 1994, she became and is presently the CEO of that business. Janis has resided in Alameda, CA since 1972.
We’ve created “Klassics 4 Kids,” a vehicle Donation Program to help make children “school ready.”
I am extremely proud that our website has become a valuable resource to the childcare community.
These are our the programs we have scheduled for the remainder of 2009.
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… I saw Micheal Moore’s new movie, “Capitalism- A Love Story,” the other day. Many of the clowns in the documetary, asked to determine whether Capitalism is a “sin,” come from an organization whose own sins and imprproties are so hainus by comparrison [two examples: using kids as hand puppets, and denying condoms in Africa] to the sins of Capitalism, I couldn’t help laughing out loud. Those of you cretins who have never sinned…
I hope Mr. Moore takes on his beloved Catholic Church [a maligncy] with the vervor he promises in the open letter bellow:
For Those of You on Your Way to Church This Morning …a note from Michael Moore
Sunday, October 4th, 2009
Friends,
I’d like to have a word with those of you who call yourselves Christians (Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, etc., can read along, too, as much of what I have to say, I’m sure, can be applied to your own spiritual/ethical values).
In my new film (“Capitalism – A Love Story”) I speak for the first time in one of my movies about my own spiritual beliefs. I have always believed that one’s religious leanings are deeply personal and should be kept private. After all, we’ve heard enough yammerin’ in the past three decades about how one should “behave,” and I have to say I’m pretty burned out on pieties and platitudes considering we are a violent nation who invades other countries and punishes our own for having the audacity to fall on hard times.
I’m also against any proselytizing; I certainly don’t want you to join anything I belong to. Also, as a Catholic, I have much to say about the Church as an institution, but I’ll leave that for another day (or movie).
Amidst all the Wall Street bad guys and corrupt members of Congress exposed in “Capitalism: A Love Story,” I pose a simple question in the movie: “Is capitalism a sin?” I go on to ask, “Would Jesus be a capitalist?” Would he belong to a hedge fund? Would he sell short? Would he approve of a system that has allowed the richest 1% to have more financial wealth than the 95% under them combined?
I have come to believe that there is no getting around the fact that capitalism is opposite everything that Jesus (and Moses and Mohammed and Buddha) taught.
All the great religions are clear about one thing: It is evil to take the majority of the pie and leave what’s left for everyone to fight over. Jesus said that the rich man would have a very hard time getting into heaven. He told us that we had to be our brother’s and sister’s keepers and that the riches that did exist were to be divided fairly. He said that if you failed to house the homeless and feed the hungry, you’d have a hard time finding the pin code to the pearly gates.
I guess that’s bad news for some of us. Here’s how we define “Blessed Are the Poor” in America: We now have the highest unemployment rate since 1983. There’s a foreclosure filing once every 7.5 seconds. 14,000 people every day lose their health insurance.
At the same time, Wall Street bankers (“Blessed Are the Wealthy”?) are amassing more and more loot — and they do their best to pay little or no income tax (last year Goldman Sachs’ tax rate was a mere 1%!). Would Jesus approve of this? If not, why do we let such an evil system continue? It doesn’t seem you can call yourself a Capitalist AND a Christian — because you cannot love your money AND love your neighbor when you are denying your neighbor the ability to see a doctor just so you can have a better bottom line. That’s called “immoral” — and you are committing a sin when you benefit at the expense of others.
When you are in church this morning, please think about this. I am asking you to allow your “better angels” to come forward. And if you are among the millions of Americans who are struggling to make it from week to week, please know that I promise to do what I can to stop this evil — and I hope you’ll join me in not giving up until everyone has a seat at the table.
Thanks for listening. I’m off to Mass in a few hours. I’ll be sure to ask the priest if he thinks J.C. deals in derivatives or credit default swaps. I mean, after all, he must’ve been good at math. How else did he divide up two loaves of bread and five pieces of fish equally amongst 5,000 people? Either he was the first socialist or his disciples were really bad at packing lunch. Or both.
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Normally [ha!!] I reserve Sunday for Frank and Ella, together and/or with Basie.
Today I awoke cravin’ you… and Mose.
Check out this link, and you’ll hear why.
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Zig in The Zone with Ralph Zig Tyko 